Let’s stop pretending

I’m a very shy person (blame it in part to my perfectionist issues), even if those who know me might be surprised to hear this. So last year, as part of forcing myself out of my comfort zone and growing, I started attending an improvisation workshop.I’m not going to lie. It’s freaking hard for me, but I’ve grown so much as a person because of it. I’m lucky to have an amazing group of men and women who support me, make me laugh and share that space to grow.

I’m happy that last week, while on the show, I failed in one sketch, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t (and still don’t) hear that inner voice saying that “you should have done this, or that. You looked stupid. People are laughing at you.” Instead, all I feel is pride for having been brave enough to put myself out there. That voice is altogether silent today. I’m sure it will return on some other occasion, but for now, I’m proud. I went to a virtual online show, made a fool of myself (and the video is out there!), and had FUN!

Life, particularly lately, is being very tough on all of us. However, we’re all in this together. We all feel the same fears inside. We all hear that voice tearing us down. It may speak and berate us for different reasons as we are all living unique experiences, but we all hear it. We are afraid to mention it because everyone around us looks like they have life figured out, but that is not true. We all got very good at pretending. Let’s stop. This is me stopping.

Thank you all for joining me in this journey of growth as a person, as a writer, as a scientist.

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Published by Vanesa L. Perillo

Finding the balance between fear and courage* *Inspired by Cara E. Yar Khan

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